2009 Weird news round-up

Oregon Man Stabs Ex-Girlfriend’s Fish In Revenge

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — A Portland man who attacked his ex-girlfriend and impaled her pet fish this summer has been sentenced to two years probation, a psychological evaluation and community service.

Donald Earl Fite III, 27, pleaded guilty Tuesday to animal abuse and domestic violence assault.

According to court records, Sarah Harris had broken up with Fite but returned to her Portland apartment July 25 to find him lying on her bed, saying he wanted to get back together.

When Harris tried to leave, Fite shoved her against a wall, grabbed her hair and tossed her against a bathtub.

Harris fled but returned with an officer to find her fish — a bright purple betta named “DeLorean” — on the wood floor with a knife through it.

According to court records, Fite quickly admitted killing the fish, telling police: “If she can’t have me, then she can’t have the fish.”

Bride’s bouquet brings down plane

The traditional throwing of a bride’s bouquet for luck ended in disaster at an Italian wedding when the flowers caused a plane to crash.

The bride and groom had hired a microlight plane to fly past and throw the bouquet to a line of women guests, Corriere della Sera reported.

However, the flowers were sucked into the plane’s engine causing it to catch fire and explode.

The aircraft plunged into a hostel. One passenger on the plane was badly hurt.

But about 50 people who had been in the hostel escaped unscathed, as did the pilot.

Ted Williams frozen head abused and used for batting practice

Workers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams – even using it for a bizarre batting practice, a new tell-all book claims.

In “Frozen,” Larry Johnson, a former exec at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Ariz., graphically describes how The Splendid Splinter” was beheaded, his head frozen and repeatedly abused.

The book, out Tuesday from Vanguard Press, tells how Williams’ corpse became “Alcorian A-1949” at the facility, where bodies are kept suspended in liquid nitrogen in case future generations learn how to revive them.

Johnson writes that in July 2002, shortly after the Red Sox slugger died at age 83, technicians with no medical certification gleefully photographed and used crude equipment to decapitate the majors’ last .400 hitter.

Williams’ severed head was then frozen, and even used for batting practice by a technician trying to dislodge it from a tuna fish can.

The chief operating officer of Alcor for eight months before becoming a whistleblower in 2003, Johnson wrote his book while in hiding, fearful for his life.

Man assaulted for being a zombie

Are there Zombies in Iowa?! On Sunday, a patron of Panchero’s Restaurant in Iowa City apparently thought as much when he saw another patron. He was so sure about it, that he felt the need to take matters into his own hands and physically assault the individual right in the middle of restaurant, while yelling “zombie.” (Yes, this is a REAL story.)

The impromptu vigilante, described as a “dark-complected white male with short brown hair, about 20 years old, between 6-feet and 6-feet-2 and weighing between 200 and 230 pounds” decided to stand up for the rights of the living, when the accused “zombie” had the audacity to walk into the restaurant, sit down, and order food! The vigilante then proceeded to punch the victim in the eye. After the accused undead patron attempted to call the police (or possibly the “Zombie Police?,”) the vigilante proceeded to hit him again, this time breaking his nose. The vigilante (can we call him “The Zombie Whacker?” ) immediately slipped out of a back door and (as of now) is still at large.

‘Stoned wallabies make crop circles’

Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around “as high as a kite”, a government official has said.

Lara Giddings, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania, said the kangaroo-like marsupials were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine.

She was reporting to a parliamentary hearing on security for poppy crops.

Australia supplies about 50% of the world’s legally-grown opium used to make morphine and other painkillers.

Courtroom Feces Thrower gets 31 years.

SAN DIEGO – A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison.

Pants-less puppeteer charged with indecent exposure

A 44-year-old man was arrested earlier this month after witnesses at a Federal Way apartment complex spotted him using his genitals as a puppet.

Prosecutors have now charged Timothy Wayne Martin, of Auburn, with felony indecent exposure.

At issue, according to court documents, was a May 13 incident during which Martin was spotted by residents of the Arcadia Apartment Complex standing partially nude over an air conditioner intake.

(The “peeping Tom” not charged)

Grandma Fights Bear

Japan’s next first lady says she rode spaceship

Former actress also claims Tom Cruise was Japanese in a previous life

TOKYO – Japan’s next prime minister might be nicknamed “the alien,” but it’s his wife who claims to have had a close encounter with another world.

“While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus,” Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year.

“It was a very beautiful place and it was really green.”
(Maybe we can send Al Gore and Obama there.)

Strip Club Owner Snubbed By Gingrich Names Pit Bull Shelter After Him

Last month we told you about Dawn Rizos, the owner of a popular Dallas strip club who was going to be honored with an “Entrepreneur of the Year” award from Newt Gingrich’s conservative group. Rizos planned to attend a private dinner in D.C. and made a $5,000 donation to Gingrich’s group, American Solutions for Winning the Future, before the invitation was rescinded and the donation returned — presumably because Gingrich’s group realized they were about to honor a strip club owner.

Now Rizos is striking back. She’s taking the $5,000 she tried to donate to Gingrich and building a shelter for unwanted pit bulls at an animal shelter outside of Dallas.

In a statement, Rizos said, “At first our feelings were hurt. But then we figured at least we could make something positive out of his bad manners.”

The name of the shelter? “Newt’s Nook: A Home For Pit Bulls.”

Food snobs fork over $225 for taste of heritage turkey

The Bourbon Reds can cost up to $225 apiece.

No, we’re not talking fancy oak-barrel-aged liquor.

We’re talking heritage turkeys, relatively rare breeds of bird raised like their 19th-century counterparts — free range, natural mating (mainstream turkeys these days are too fat to mate) and slow growing — all part of the sustainable food production movement.

Tens of thousands of people, it turns out, are willing to shell out the cash for these high-priced turkeys for their Thanksgiving dinner tables, according to the American Livestock Breeds Conservancy. Makes you wonder: Are no traditions — however humble and hallowed by time — safe from food snobbery?

“The blunt answer is, ‘No, no foodstuffs are exempt from food snobs,’ ” said David Kamp, author of “The United States of Arugula: How We Became a Gourmet Nation.”

Couple Busted for Refusing to Pay Tip

Patrons claim service was so bad, they had to get napkins and silverware for themselves


If you’re frustrated by poor service at a restaurant, think twice before you decide to not tip. You may be in for a bit more than just a dirty look from the waiter.

“Nobody, nobody wants to be forced to pay a tip or be arrested for terrible service,” Leslie Pope said when her happy hour ended in handcuffs.

Pope and John Wagner were hauled away by police and charged with theft for not paying the mandatory 18 percent gratuity totaling $16 after eating at the Lehigh Pub in Bethlehem, Pa. with six friends.

See video from NBC Philadelphia

Kansas couple’s trash bin tryst takes wrong turn

(AP)—WICHITA, Kan.—Some days you just can’t win. A tender moment in a trash bin went all wrong for a couple who found themselves being held up at pocket knifepoint. Police said two 44-year-olds had climbed into a dumpster to be alone just after 6 p.m. Saturday when two men interrupted them and demanded their belongings. Officers said the man and woman were engaged in “an intimate moment” when they were robbed of their shoes, jewelry and the man’s wallet.

Police said one of the robbers was a 64-year-old man who egged his 59-year-old companion on during the robbery.

The suspects were found a short time later and the stolen property was returned.

Possible B.O. ban in Honolulu

HONOLULU — Honolulu City Council members are considering a proposal to ban riders from buses if their body odor is too stinky.

Councilman Rod Tam and Councilman Nestor Garcia introduced the bill to regulate a number of dangerous or annoying behaviors on city buses including bad B.O.

Under the bill, police could cite riders if their body odor annoyed others and a convicted offender could face up to $500 in fines or six months in prison.

(No fine for stinky birth certificates.)

Half-naked Santas run for charity in Hungary

BUDAPEST, Hungary – Residents of Budapest got to see a whole lot of red — and plenty of skin — during an annual Santa Claus charity run.

About 100 runners wearing nothing but Santa Claus hats and swimsuits jogged for about 1.2 miles through the streets of Hungary’s capital, with temperatures hovering near 40 degrees.

Ho, Ho this Santa!

Elves now on the list of Domestic Terrorists. May not fly on Santa’s Sleigh this year.


Atlanta, GA—Apparently, the economic recession has hit the North Pole and elves are striking for more pay. William Caldwell, 45, dressed as a Christmas Elf at an Atlanta mall and told santa his bags “were dynamite” and was arrested by police. His neighbors say he enjoyed dressing up, including as a pirate. Police are investigating Caldwell and suspect mental health issues, but is being held on charges of making terroristic threats to St. Nick.

The action adds elves to the “No-fly” list and Santa is questionable since it has been reported that he is an elf. His birth certificate is being investigated.

Jackson News


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